I also knew that it would be very, very easy to become bitter; to spend far too much time obsessing about what I didn't have because of the years of illness.
Writing the last few entries has sent my thoughts down a path I normally don't follow, and it's been troubling. I didn't think well at work today and that's disturbing.
I need to list some accomplishments here, to remind me that the past is past.
In the years since I started taking lithium, I have
- Bought and sold a house
- Traveled overseas alone and with a group
- Become financially stable
- Risked marrying again
- Recognized a mistake and got unmarried again
- Purchased two cars without anyone's advice
- Learned to bid at an auction ("real" and Ebay)
- Learned new techniques for my job
- Begun winnowing out my possessions
- Studied meditation at a zen center, and attended services for a year or so
- Begun giving to charity on a regular basis
- Quit smoking
- Been a companion to my elderly father
- Become a moderator for an on-line political discussion group
Life is good, and I have a feeling I'll sleep better tonight, work better tomorrow, for remembering that.